Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
