question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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