I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
