get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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