some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
