oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
