Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
