i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
