The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
