You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
