Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
