you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
