Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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