he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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