how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
