I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
