I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
