I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
its not stalking. its research.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
