so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
