Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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