Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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