i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
