Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You need Xanax blowdarts
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
