i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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