i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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