she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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