He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
