doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
