how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
