i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
