That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
