Only a mothe r could love this liver
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
