You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
