Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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