Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I need a beard to bite.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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