Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
