I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
