She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
