i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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