Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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