Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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