We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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