i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
