there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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