just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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