i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I need to stop coming to work sober
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
