Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
