And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
