I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
