I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
