nut hugger
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
